Chocolate Coconut Custard Cream Pie – Kind of Keto

The thought of a coconut cream pie popped in my head and never left.  I had my mouth all fixed for it, but I was not willing to break my fast from refined flour and sugar enough to buy a commercial one.

A little trick that’s kept me on the keto path is promising myself that if I want something that badly, think on it then and only then I may have it, IF I make it from scratch.  Besides, the conventionally sweetened pastries that I used to love so much never taste as good as I remember.  Then I feel punked, and I HATE that.

So – I set out to make the most refined flour and sugar free coconut cream pie I could knowing from the outset there was no way, no how, I was going to be employing the use of fake sugar in such a labor intensive project (fuck that noise!).

The Research

First place to start is the crust.  Finding a recipe for a grain free crust that would mimic graham cracker or shortbread crust was easy enough.  Amazing things are happening with almond flour.  www.againstallgrain.com has an amazing paleo Honey Graham Cracker Pie Crust recipe that was the jam!

Then I thought since I was gonna do it, why not do it big?  What’s a dessert without chocolate?  Like masturbating with a dildo when you *really* wanted some dick, that’s what.  I surfed  the ‘net and decided to make an amalgam of different chocolate/ganache recipes into a filling (recipe below).

The tricky part came with the coconut layer.  I would need a coconut cream layer that would a) be full of coconutty flavor and b) have some texture to it that would stand up to the chocolate layer on the bottom and still keep its shape.  Because, texture.

This, in itself wasn’t so difficult but try as I might, I couldn’t find a low carb filling that didn’t use fake sugar or those weird sugar alcohols.  I don’t believe in that shit.  Yes, my carb count will take a hit in the end but for a decadent mostly legal indulgence – I’ll allow it.  Besides, sugar alcohols have no business in baked goods.

This process did take a while so I did what I always do when I’m playing in the kitchen: poured myself a glass of wine, put a kung fu flick on the laptop and got started.

The Method

The Crust

I found a really fantastic grain free almond/coconut flour Honey Graham Cracker Pie Crust crust by Danielle Walker at AgainstAllGrain.com.  Its actually the easiest crust grain full or grain free I’ve ever made.  Which was an added bonus because I *hate* making crust by scratch.

Next, the chocolate ganache layer – 

Chocolate Ganache Layer

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1 1/4 C. Heavy Whipping Cream

1/3 C. Sugar in the Raw

2 TBS Raw Honey

1 tsp Vanilla Extract (I used Bourbon Vanilla extract)

6 to 8 ounces good ass unsweetened chocolate broken into small pieces.  I used a Ghirardelli bar I whacked against my counter a few times.

Directions:

  1. Add cream, honey and sugar to a medium saucepan over medium heat, whisk together.   Barely bring to a boil then turn off heat. Stir in vanilla extract.  NOTE: if raw sugar has not dissolved keep heat on low and whisk until dissolved.  Turn off heat and proceed to next step.
  2. Add chocolate and let it sit until chocolate has melted.  Bust out your hand mixer to ensure it’s smooth.  I used the whisk attachment on medium/low speed for 1 – 1 1/2 minutes

Pour filling into crust and place it somewhere away from heat to cool to room temperature.

The Coconut Custard Cream Layer –

Coconut Custard Cream Layer

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1/2 C. Sugar in the Raw

2 TBS Cornstarch (I did cheat with the cornstartch)

2 TBS Coconut Flour (not meal)

1/4 tsp Salt ( I used natural sea salt)

3/4 C. Heavy Whipping Cream

1/4 C. Coconut Cream

1 Can (13.4 oz) Refrigerated Coconut Milk (not the kind in a box, the REAL stuff)

4 Large Egg Yolks (carefully seperated)

1 TBS Real Vanilla Extract (I used Organics Bourbon Vanilla Extract)

Directions:

  1. Heat (but do not boil) 1/2 C. of the cream in a small bowl or heat proof mug.  Whisk coconut flour and cornstarch into milk until dissolved and set aside.
  2. In a medium sauce pan over medium heat add sugar and salt, slowly add coconut flour/cream mixture whisk until incorporated.
  3. Gradually add the remaining cream and continue to whisk until coconut flour and cornstarch has dissolved.  Add the can of coconut milk, and 4 egg yolks while whisking constantly.
  4. Cook over medium heat continuing to whisk constantly until you start to see the first large bubble surface – about 4 – 5 minutes.  Reduce heat to low, and continue whisking and cooking for another 1 minute.  Remove from heat.
  5. Once custard cream is almost room temperature, give it a stir (or skim the skin from the top) before layering it on top of the chocolate layer in the almond flour crust.

PROTIP: If you want to cool your custard faster in the ‘fridge, you can let the pan cool until it can be handled then put a layer of cling wrap directly on top of the custard.  This will prevent a skin from forming on top.

Then, I toasted some unsweetened coconut, whipped some heavy whipping cream and threw it on top with a couple of sprinkles of unsweetened cocoa.  And voila! Chocolate coconut cream pie, as keto as I could make it without sacrificing the spirit of the pie.

NOTE: Now, if you wanted to make your layers truly keto, you could.  I just can’t stomach sugar substitutes.  It feels wrong.  if I’m gonna take the time to make a pie – I sure as fuck am gonna use real sweetener.  Sorry, I just. can’t. even with the fake shit.

ANOTHER NOTE: This is a decadent dessert.  Not low cal, not low fat, not really that low carb.  You might have to IF for the day to make it fit your macros for the day.  I gave away half the pie to our bachelor friend but if you keep portions in check, it should serve 12.  Or 8 if you’re not tryna’ share.  Double nutrition info for 8 instead of 12.  Taken from recipe calculator at myfitnesspal.com.  Check the nutrition* below:

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Okay, presentation isn't *great* but I'm working on it!

Okay, presentation isn’t *great* but I’m working on it!

Nutrition Facts
Servings 12.0
Amount Per Serving
calories 359
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 27 g 42 %
Saturated Fat 19 g 96 %
Monounsaturated Fat 1 g
Polyunsaturated Fat 0 g
Trans Fat 0 g
Cholesterol 140 mg 47 %
Sodium 37 mg 2 %
Potassium 32 mg 1 %
Total Carbohydrate 26 g 9 %
Dietary Fiber 4 g 14 %
Sugars 19 g
Protein 4 g 8 %
Vitamin A 13 %
Vitamin C 0 %
Calcium 1 %
Iron 4 %
* The Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet, so your values may change depending on your calorie needs. The values here may not be 100% accurate because the recipes have not been professionally evaluated nor have they been evaluated by the U.S. FDA.

*Nutrition info DOES NOT include extracts, salt, or baking soda.